Letters to the Universe

Dear Mother Nature;
Right now, you are my hero. I didn't have to wear my coat all day, and I've still got the windows wide open at home tonight. But I hear you may become my enemy again; snow tomorrow? Please, don't.
Springingly yours,
J.


Dear Little Cuddly Forest Animals;
The streets are NOT safe for you, please learn this. Did you not see your furry little brother smoooshed all over the road not 15 feet from where you are? Go back! Into the shelter of trees! Quickly!
Playing Roadkill Bingo,
J.


Dear Teens Smoking Pot on the Corner;
Holy shit, I think I got a contact high just waiting for the light to change. Knock it off.
*cough*
J.


Dear Falstaff Restaurant,
Please, use a spellchecker, or hire a proof-reader. I really don't want to eat 'Chiken'.
Not hungry anymore,
J.


Dear Bacardi,
Thank you, once again, for making the Strawberry Smoothie cooler. Will you marry me?
*hic*
J.